A Heavenly Sacrifice

Throughout my life I have overheard women complain about their husbands and men about their wives. How their spouse nags them or doesn't do enough around the house. How their spouse works too much or doesn't seem to work enough. No matter where you go, I feel that you be able to find someone who complains about their spouse.
This week I found myself wondering why this is so.
After studying this idea this week I feel that I have come to a conclusion. It is because there is one who fights to destroy all happiness. One who doesn't have the opportunity to be married. One who will never have a family or a spouse of their own. One who is attacking us daily so that we may break or fall. And that person is Satan.
Marriage is challenging. It is full of sacrifice and hard work. Upon getting married you are to share money, time, food, space, and even your own body. Even when you love someone more than you have ever loved anything before, it can still be a difficult adjustment. You go from one, to two and it can be overwhelming.
I read a story about a man who asks his two friends to design him half of a house. He didn't give them any plans and let them do it to their liking. In time the friends finish their halves of the house and they turned out great, but they both were extremely different. The two halves don't match. The doors, rooms, windows, electrical and pluming don't line up.
This story is very applicable to marriage. Going into marriage we are two different people who have been raised in two different ways. Two people may come together thinking that they will fit perfectly, but there will always be differences. Cleaning, parenting, loving, and basic living styles will be different.
This is where accommodation and tolerance come in. There will need to be some adjustments made in order to enjoy marriage. Just as the two sides of the house will need some work and adjusting to become a home. Some of these adjustments may take time to work out. There will be things that both partners will need to sacrifice. Marriage is something that is worked on over time and will require some effort by both individuals.
I am not talking about the kind of sacrifice where you give in or give up. I am talking about a little different sacrifice, a God-like sacrifice. A sacrifice where you become aware that others needs may be more important than that of your own. One where you feel compassion and love for another person so much that it hurts you when they are hurting. Heavenly sacrifice is a huge component of a successful marriage.
Brigham Young once said, "I have heard a great many tell about what they have suffered for Christ's sake. I am happy to say I never had occasion to. I have enjoyed a great deal, but so far as suffering goes I have compared it to a great many times..... to a man wearing an old, worn out, tattered and dirty coat, and somebody comes along and gives him one that is new, whole and beautiful. This is the comparison I draw when I think of what I have suffered for the Gospel's sake. I have thrown away an old coat and have put on a new one. No man or woman ever heart me tell about suffering."
In marriage we too are putting on a new coat. We make a commitment to not be selfish and progress through life with a partner.
When we go back to the idea of husbands and wives complaining about their spouses I think of the sacrifices we make for each other. The world is surrounded by people who take their husband and wives for granted. We can put each other down or even hurt each other.
Marriage is something to be enjoyed. It bring can bring light and happiness into our lives. As husbands and wives we should make the commitment to make heavenly sacrifices for our spouses. It will bring God into our relationships and help us become the best we can be. It will take time for us to make adjustments, but as we put on the new coat of marriage it will bring new adventures and joy into our homes.

Romance and Friendship

“Friendship Fuels the Flame of Romance,” is something that I read in one of my class readings this week. This really stuck out to me. I think of the many successful marriages I have seen in my life and what it really does come down to is if they are friends.

As a kid, I felt a great deal of loyalty to my friends. I felt like I had to stand up for them and defend them all of the time. I proudly claimed “so and so” to be my best friend. It was almost like a badge that I wore around.

Now, I think about it and I think about the many friends I have had over the years and I still feel that loyalty to them. If I can feel this way about friends of whom I don’t passionately love then I better be feeling that friendship towards my spouse. I think it to be amazing that friendship can lead to romance. We all need friends and we all need romance, so if they go hand in hand then we are totally set.

As I was thinking about all of my friends a big one crossed my mind, and that man is Jesus Christ. I remember talking to a family member one time and telling them that I felt like I didn’t have any friends where I was living and that the only person who had my back was Jesus Christ. I feel that the principle of friendship bringing us closer is applicable to our relationship with God. As we follow his teachings and follow his commandments, we gain an eternal friend. What an awesome deal!

I know that God loves every one of us and he is waiting for us to turn to him and make him our best friends. I love that friendship can bring a couple together just as much as it can to our Heavenly Father. 

Happiness or Pleasure?

This question is applicable to many things! Whether it be physical or emotional. It could be something as simple as, do I keep my diet and stay healthy or do I eat that chocolate bar and indulge myself? Figuring out what the difference between pleasure and happiness is in life can be a challenge. It amazes me how the world we live in confuses the two.

At the beginning of this year I started reading a book titled “Jesus the Christ” by James E Talmage and I recommend it to everyone. I have felt a deeper love for my Savior as I have read this book. I have gone really slow while reading it because I also read the scripture references he makes throughout the book. The other night I read a part where he talks about the true difference between happiness and pleasure in this life.

“The present is an age of pleasure-seeking, and men are losing their sanity in the mad rush for sensations that excite and disappoint. In this day of counterfeits, adulterations, and base imitations, the devil is busier than he has ever been in the course of human history, in the manufacture of pleasures, both old and new; and these he offers for sale in most attractive fashion, falsely labeled, Happiness. In this soul-destroying craft, he is without a peer; he has had centuries of experience and practice, and by his skill he controls the market. He has learned the tricks of the trade, and knows well how to catch the eye and arouse the desire of his customers. He puts up the stuff in bright colored packages, tied with tinsel string and tassel; and crowds flock to his bargain counters, hustling and crushing one another in the frenzy of their buy.

Follow one of the purchasers as he goes off gloatingly with his gaudy packet, and watch him as he opens it. What finds he inside the gilded wrapping? He has expected fragrant happiness, but uncovers only an inferior brand of pleasure, the stench of which is nauseating.

Happiness includes all that is really desirable and of true worth in pleasure, and much besides. Happiness is genuine gold, pleasure but guided brass, which corrodes in the hand, and is soon converted into poisonous verdigris. Happiness is as the genuine diamond, which, rough or polished, shines with its own inimitable luster; pleasure is as the paste imitation that glows only when artificially embellished. Happiness is the ruby, red as the heart’s blood, hard and enduring; pleasure as stained glass, soft, brittle, and of but transitory beauty.

Happiness leaves no bad after-taste, it is followed by no depressing reaction; it calls for no repentance, brings no regret, entails no remorse; pleasure too often makes necessary repentance, contrition, and suffering; and, if indulged to the extreme, it brings degradation and destruction.

True happiness is lived over and over again in memory, always with a renewal of the original good; a moment of unholy pleasure may leave a barbed sting, which, like a thorn in the flesh, is an ever-present source of anguish.”

I feel that this is so applicable to the decisions we make daily, in life. What truly brings us happiness? Are we disguising pleasure for what may seem to be happiness?

As I think about happiness the first answer that comes to mind is my eternal family. Belonging to someone who loves me brings me great joy and knowing that I can be with them for all of eternity makes me want to do all that I can to keep that happiness in my life.

It is human nature to feel needed or have the need to feel secure. Family is the security we all need in our lives. As mothers, fathers, daughters, and sons we have the ability to create happiness within our homes and provide the security necessary. Parents must seek happiness over pleasure in their own marriages. I have seen many examples of adults who have sought out way paths of happiness in their marriages and seen the success it brings into their home. Putting another person’s desires or needs above your own will bring you true happiness. Sadly, we live in a world where we are surrounded by selfishness or pride.

Selfishness and pride are exactly what Satan uses to make us think we are seeking our “own happiness”, when in all reality, we are only seeking unsatisfying pleasure. Satan has made the pleasures of the world extremely easy to access. Justification for our prideful and selfish actions have become first nature among many throughout the world.

As we learn to forgive those whom have hurt us and overcome the pains we may have endured, we will begin to feel the joys of happiness, instead of the feelings of emptiness we receive through pleasure. I know that happiness is not something that comes naturally. Nor do I believe that it is something that is easily attained. The feelings of happiness are way more rewarding than feelings of pleasure. I know that happiness is something that is eternal.

I love what James E. Talmage says when he describes the memories of happiness. It can be lived over and over again without feelings of regret. I challenge all of us, to look in our own lives and see where we can replace pleasure with happiness. We may need to let some things go, but as we do, we will begin to feel the blessings of happiness work throughout our lives. 

Standing in Support of Marriage

I have always looked forward to being married, and it definitely is something to look forward to. I have been married for just under two months and I feel that it has already been such a huge blessing in my life. Starting at a young age, I looked forward to being married and having a family of my own. I am so blessed to have a husband that makes that dream a reality!

I feel that I owe a great deal of my excitement for marriage to my own parents. My mom and dad have always been a great example of how to work hard for a successful marriage. To this day, I feel that they often act like newlyweds. This June, they will have been married for 24 years. They have shown me that being married and having a lifetime companion is the most rewarding and challenging thing in this life.

I also feel that I owe a lot of my thoughts and ideas on marriage to my religion. Being LDS has taught me that marriage is eternal and that having a family can be the most joyous and rewarding experience in this life. In the church, we are taught that through sacred covenants in the temple we can be sealed to our families for not only this life but also after our life on this Earth. We are taught that being a part of a family is a sacred duty and that our roles as mothers, fathers, husbands and wives are extremely important.

This week I have done a great deal of research on marriage and the family. I have read many great articles and thoughts of others on marriage. I've read a great deal of challenging stories about broken promises in families and pain caused by family members. I know that I am very blessed to have the parents that I do and I am even more blessed to have the husband that I do. I know that for some, family is a source of pain or resentment. I know people who refuse to forgive or move on from the anguish that they endured due to others choices in their families. I have friends who have suffered from divorce, abuse, death, and illness. I know that every one of us has experienced or known someone who has experienced the pains of this life.

I know that as we try to move on from these challenges we need to forgive. We must learn to forgive those whom have damaged relationships. The only way to experience true joy in the family is to be forgive and learn to love. This may take time. This may be extremely painful, but in order for us to feel the blessings of having a family we will have to work hard at it. Happiness in marriage and in our families, does not come naturally. It requires daily work and effort.

There is a great deal of negative outlooks on marriage in the world we live in. The Marriage Psychological Association states that, "about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher." This is not a good statistic. With a statistic like that there is no wonder why people are cohabiting with their significant others or simply not interested in marriage. Divorce is painful and is not something that people generally are not looking forward to. I know that many people my age think that one way to avoid divorce is to avoid getting married at all.

I can see why people are afraid to get married or are not interested it such a huge commitment, but what I want to do is testify of the happiness of marriage. I recently watched a video by Elder Henry B. Eyring. This is a short clip of an address he gave at a conference about same sex marriage.

https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2015-00-0001-renaissance-of-marriage?lang=eng

I stand with Elder Eyring and testify that marriage is a great blessing in our lives today. I have seen the blessings of marriage in my own life. I have seen it in my own family members and in my own marriage. I know that there will always be challenges to come. I also know that as I defend marriage and stand for what I believe in I will feel joy and happiness in my life. I know that having a family can bring and indescribable joy to our lives. I also know marriage to be between man and woman. I know that children need the teachings of both mothers and fathers in their lives. I know that we live in a world where there are a million opinions being thrown at us and I hope to stand as a defender of marriage and the joy it stands for.