Marriage Brings More Family

There are a lot of really amazing things that marriage can bring into your life. I could go on and on about the blessings that I have received because of my own marriage. It is definitely something to look forward to and desire. Marriage also brings challenges along with blessings.

One of the greatest blessings that marriage brings is an addition of more family members. You attain another set of parents, more siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles, more grandparents, and nieces and nephews. It is fantastic and also a little overwhelming!

Before marriage you only have to worry about loving the people who have always been there for you throughout your life. Once you are married, you have an entirely different family to love and look out for.

Media has portrayed in-laws as unbearable and difficult to get along with and in some cases, that may be true. I have friends who have stated how they have no clue how their husbands came from such crazy families. Not only do you gain a new family but your husband gains your family as well. Gaining more family members is a challenge and for some it can be one of the more difficult parts of marriage.

Up until the point of marriage, you have been raised in only one type of family. Attaining new family members brings new traditions and a variety of new opinions.

Who do you share holidays with? Who do you visit most often? Which grandparents get to spend birthdays with your children? And on top of all of these questions, what traditions do you decide to start with your own intermediate family?

All of these questions need to be discussed between the husband and the wife. What it all comes down to is, how do you learn to love an entirely new family?

Here is a video that shares a story of what love should be towards parents and in-laws.
https://www.lds.org/media-library/video/2014-10-002-families-sacrifice-give-love?category=topics/love&lang=eng

Once newly married, it is easy to love your spouse but it may not be the same for his family. Finding love for new family members can be extremely challenging for some, but as you learn to truly love them you will feel a change of heart and become closer to your Savior, Jesus Christ.

Pray for your new family members, pray for their well-being, pray for them individually, and pray that you will achieve Christlike love towards them. I know that as you do so you will begin to feel your heart soften towards them. We are commanded to love all men and that should include all of our family members, even our newly added family members.

RESPECT

According to dictionary.com, respect is "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability.”

A sense of worth or excellence in another person.

How do we attain this sense of worth or excellence for another person? How do we truly show our respect?

They way that you value a person can show you how much respect you have for them. When you hold a person in the highest esteem you express a high level of respect. This level of respect should be one that is used in a marriage.

“Parents… should love and respect each other, and treat each other with respectful decorum and kindly regard, all the time. The husband should treat his wife with the utmost courtesy and respect. The husband should never insult her; he should never speak slightly of her, but should always hold her in the highest esteem in the home, in the presence of their children… The wife, also, should treat the husband with the greatest respect and courtesy. Her words to him should not be keen and cutting and sarcastic. She should not pass slurs or insinuations at him… Then it will be easy for the parents to instill into the hearts of their children not only love for their fathers and their mothers, not only respect and courtesy towards their parents, but love and courtesy and deference between the children at home” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, pp. 283–284).

Earlier this week, I read this quote and it got me thinking about what respect for another person truly was. It also got me thinking about marriage and what kind of love should be shown within a husband and a wife. Love without respect is not love at all.

As a husband and wife demonstrate a love full of respect they will be able to demonstrate to others how to feel most fulfilled in life. As children become a part of a family they will learn how to love and show respect by watching their parent’s examples. The goal as a parent is to raise children that will be successful and those whom are respectful will be the people that are respected and through that they can achieve anything.

Wives and husbands need to feel a sense of worth or excellence about their partner and as this is done their views about their spouses will change. Marriage gives you the perfect opportunity to practice the act of respect. As you respect your spouse they will show you the same in return. Being respected gives you power and a sense of accomplishment.

Analyze your life and decide how you will respect the people that you associate with! It could change your life. 

Date Night!

My parents have always had a fantastic relationship. They have shown me what true love looks like. They have shown me that marriage isn't easy and there will be some challenging times but that it will all be worth it.

I have seen a lot of things that my parents have taught me manifested through my own marriage. My mom and dad were prime examples at how to have a successful and happy marriage, while going through challenging times.

My dad has always put my mom first. I used to joke to my friends that my parents still acted like newly weds, and I believe that what truly got them through everything were the nights that they took a break from every day life and focused on quality time with one another. Almost weekly my parents would go on a date. They understood the importance of taking time out of their week to develop their relationship with one another.

I am the oldest of 5 kids and because of that I became their permanent babysitter. Even before I was old enough to babysit, my parents would get a babysitter so that they could go on a date night. When I was younger I would get frustrated that my parents went out with each other so much and never brought us. I never understood just how important their date night was until I married my own husband.

Life is crazy and I feel that it doesn't get any less crazy as we go along. Often times, we can say that we are too busy to worry about dates right now. There is never enough time and dating your husband or wife is not something that you should be putting off. Dating is not something that should be forgotten once you are married.

Now, I am not saying that you have to go to a fancy dinner or spend a lot of money every week to date your spouse. What I am saying is that every week you should be devoting at least 1-2 hours of quality time to your spouse. This time should be away from the busy world you live in. This time should be considered sacred and extremely important.

There are many great reasons to date your spouse, but one that would like to point out is that you both need each other. Marriage is hard and it can be easy to get lost in the many different activities that you are involved in. Date nights can help you build one another up. It gives you time to wind down from the business of life and have time to talk about things going on with you. I believe that in order to have a successful marriage you have to commit to each other to work on it daily. It is a part of life that should not be put aside. Marriage is something that can bless and enrich your life, only when you are both putting effort into its success.

Go on dates! Make time for it! I promise that it is worth it. I feel much better about my week knowing that I have something to look forward to. I have specific time devoted to my relationship with my husband. I love watching our love grow as we continue to date each other and work at a great marriage.